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Overview
A website that can kill? Find the killer if you can. It was
hard for me to decipher it too. FearDotCom, a website that
mysteriously kills people exactly 48 hours after they log on
to the site, plagues local detectives. As they chase the
website and the confusion behind it they are also racing
against time to save their own hides! A movie that could have
been a good horror film comes across battered and bruised.
Caution, this review has spoilers in order to explain it. But
who cares, when a movie is this bad you need help in order to
watch it. Needless to say, it was one of the worst movies I
have seen in quite some time. If there are little kids around
or really old people, you might want to lock them in the
closet, this movie is a bomb.
Review
When I saw the commercials, FearDotCom looked like a post
summer movie treat. This thought was far from the truth. The
only good thing about this movie was the cinematography.
Focusing mainly on dark gritty shots of rainy cityscapes,
FearDotCom needed a torch to see anything. Grimy settings can
set the mood for any scene but a whole movie full of it is
overbearing. Nevertheless the buck stops here. The storyline
grows incredibly confusing in a very bad way. It turns out (I
think) that there are actually two websites. One is run by a
serial killer fascinated with a fatal doctor fetish. He
captures women and tortures them on a web cam. The other site
is mysteriously run by a ghost. Yes that’s right kids, a
ghost. Don’t ask me how a ghost can host a URL or even pay for
it. Some people may say, “who cares? It’s a movie!” This may
be true but there’s more. For some odd reason this whole no
name city runs on its very own OS, unlike anything I have ever
seen. Eventually the two detectives (who cares what their
names are) moronically visit FearDotCom to see why people are
dying. So now they only have 2 days to solve the crime.
Evidently if someone sees what is on the site, they die of
their worst fear. It turns out that the ghost who runs
FearDotCom will only give you 48 hours to solve her death
before she kills you. Yeah it’s pretty stupid; I saw it. Well
they end up finding her body in the basement of a flooded
power plant. Don’t leave cause the shows not over yet. The
female detective asks a blind, mute bum that is watching a
broken TV in the sewer where the body is. My question was, who
the hell is this person and why would she know anything!? I
won’t spoil the ending for you, even though it is horrible.
The only good thing that came out of this train-wreck was the
end cinematography. The producers probably cut corners through
the whole movie, except for this part. When the film was over
I felt perverted and short changed 7
bucks. Don’t let this movie pervert you.
Acting
Everyone in this movie sucked; plain and simple. Even the
crazy doctor could have done better. I bet Brad Pitt or Jodie
Foster couldn’t save this piece of junk. There is very little
character development, but would you really want to know these
characters anyway? They are so despondent and benign, almost
if as if they didn’t want to be there. That’s exactly how I
felt.
Directing
Well, I really only have one thing to say. “William Malone,
what the hell were you thinking!” I wonder what was going
through his head when he took this job under his wing. The
scenes were wet and rainy, much like Training Day or SEVEN.
While watching, if you look at the setting, its always night
time! Folks, this movie is darker than Scooby Doo.
Final Thoughts
As the lights turned back on, I felt
that the last 30 minutes were the best of the worst. That last
part had some cool cinematography, but it couldn’t save this
movie. I give this movie one and a half Planets. I guess I’m
feeling generous.
Jameson Rating:
1.5 out of 5 Planets
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