Overview:
I have two problems with reviewing this film. First is that it’s half a movie. They took Kill Bill and split it in two. Not a massive deal though, as The Matrix sequels and the Lord of the Rings trilogy were shot back to back as well. Plus, it ends on a decent cliff-hanger so it’s like a first movie that would normally have a sequel. The other problem is that there are apparently 3 versions, a US, a European and an Asian one. I live in that little island right next to Europe that speaks English (and actually came up with it too). I’m guessing I saw the US cut, but who knows...

Review:
Neither issue should really effect this review, assuming the differences are minor. I’m pretty sure I saw the US release though. The movie opening should give you a pretty good indication for what you’re getting in to. Heck, this bit isn’t even technically part of the movie. There’s a psychedelic cinema announcement telling us this is the feature presentation which I guess you’re used to getting in theatres stateside, then a studio logo I actually recognized. Kill Bill is shot in SHAWSCOPE. Okay not really, but anyone who loves Kung Fu movies will get it. And that sums up Kill Bill to a T.

If you like Kung Fu films you will really dig this movie. I’m not talking about Hollywood Kung Fu, I’m talking about the stuff that was parodied in Police Academy, and made Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee big names, plus a number of others that actually appear in the film. Quentin is a big film geek. He eats, sleeps, breathes and (occasionally) shoots the things; and it shows. Kill Bill is the closest I have ever seen an American movie get to an actual Kung Fu movie. If you dubbed this, put subtitles on it and called him Quentin Cheng I would believe it as being pure region 3.

Guess I’d better cover the plot at some point here, huh? Well, this is an exploitation film, so the plot is relatively thin. Uma Thurman plays The Bride (they actually say her name a couple of times, but bleep it out in an extremely obvious and obnoxious way. By the third time this is REALLY funny). She used to be a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, but decided to call it quits. Anyone who knows anything about squads knows there’s only one way out, in a box. So Bill, their leader orders 4 of her former colleagues, to take her out. They arrive at her wedding, kill the guests, the priest, her husband, her unborn child and Uma herself; or do they?

They should have finished the job. Four years later she wakes up from a coma and makes a list of the 5 she sets out to kill. That’s the plot. In fact, you won’t work out some of that until a bit of movie goes by as it’s shot in a non-linear fashion but I haven’t spoiled anything.

Acting:
You don’t get to see the entire Death List 5 in this, so I can’t really comment on just over half of them. There’s the “half a movie” problem cropping up. There’s plenty to get on with though.

May as well start with the star. Uma is great in this. She’s a pretty girl no mistaking, but she looks pretty roughed up in the opener and the second chapter of this movie. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to buy her as a cold blood killer, but she pulls it off quite well. The Bride is ruthless and I would NOT mess with her. After waking from a coma her legs don’t really work. She hasn’t been using them for four years. After escaping from the hospital through a series of interesting and mildly disturbing events, she wheels herself to the parking garage and into the back of a pick up truck. She stares at her feet and says “wiggle your big toe” over and over until it wiggles. And to tell the truth, I wiggled mine after the first few times she said it. Once she had her legs back I didn’t doubt that this woman could do anything she set her mind to, and God help anyone that gets in the way.

Death List member number 2 is Vivica A Fox. She plays Vernita Green, who seems to be out of the killing game. She has a family, but she still has some crazy skills. You don’t see a whole lot of her, she’s the first off the list, but it’s a pretty good performance for this kind of movie.

If you’re going to kill a bunch of bad guys in one of these films, you’re going to need a kick ass sword. So the bride goes to Okinawa to see Hattori Hanzo. This is where Sonny Chiba and Kenji Ohba get to shine. This scene is shot half English, half Japanese and it works great. The two actors have perfect chemistry and you can believe they have been working together for 30 years. It’s like an old married couple that can barely stand each other’s company but couldn’t bear to be apart. If you don’t laugh a half dozen times during this scene, you’re not human.

Chiba turns out to be the master sword maker and makes The Bride a gorgeous sword out of obligation. Hopefully this movie will give him some bigger roles (he’s not exactly begging for work in Asia) as he switches from gentle Sushi bar owner to maker of death dealers without a hitch.

She got the sword for a reason, and The House of Blue Leaves scene shows you that reason. The big fight scene for the movie, and the one you’ve seen in the trailers happens here and it’s the base of operation for Death list member #1 O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu). But before I get to her or her assistants I should talk a little about her origin story.

Back in the old days they put an animation before the movie. Quentin has stuck one slap-bang in the middle of his. This shouldn’t work. It’s a big chunk of anime in the middle of a live action Kung Fu film. But it does, and it does it well. The style of the anime itself isn’t one of my favorites (Ghost in the Shell is brilliant, but this is drawn kind of like “The Kid” from Animatrix) but I stopped noticing after a few minutes. And you forget that this isn’t what you signed up for when you bought your ticket. Unlike that ridiculously long love story section in Crouching Tiger, where you end up forgetting what the main movie was about, this actually fits. I knew that Tarantino was either getting too big for his boots, or just a freakin’ Genius, but I wasn’t sure that even he could pull this off. Of course he does big time!

Anyway, that’s how we get introduced to O-Ren. And Liu pulls in a great performance for one of Charlie's Angels. She’s tough, ruthless and deservedly takes a quarter of the movie to get struck from the list. This is mainly due to her being a Yakuza boss, correction THE Yakuza boss. Anyone who has ever played a video game or seen an action movie knows you have to wade through dozens of minions before you get to tackle the chief, and here, minions will you get.

THIS is what the Burly Brawl should have been. Don’t get me wrong, it was great, but Neo didn’t seem to be in any danger through the whole thing. Yeun Woo-Ping is the coordinator here too, but he didn’t have to worry about as many pixels. After fighting off a few nameless Kato masked minions The Bride comes up against the minor boss, the one you have to take out before the big guy.

If you’ve seen Battle Royale, you’ll recognise GoGo Yubari (Chiaki Kuriyama). She’s a total psycho in this and does the best work with a mace like weapon I have never seen. I always thought a metal ball on a chain was pretty stupid, but I’ll never think that again. This girl has quite a career ahead of her.

Conclusion:
I could rant on about what a piece of work this film is for a few thousand words more, but I’d end up spoiling it big time. I’ve come a lot closer than I wanted to as it is. Tarantino has proved once again (I liked Jackie Brown; I don’t care what anyone says) that he is a crazy genius who should be given a camera and a 100 million to do whatever he wants. It would bound to be gold. Kill Bill is one of the best action films AND one of the best comedies I have seen this year. I hate Miramax for making me wait another 6 months to see the rest of this, (some of the stuff from the trailer is from volume 2, no old guys jumping on swords in this one) but can understand the decision. You know when you get off a roller coaster and get back in line for another go? There’s a reason. If you rode that coaster twice in a row you wouldn’t be too healthy when you got off. Sure, we have to wait a while for another ride but I’m sure the wait will be worth it. And it will be easier to go the distance in the comfy confines of your own home when the whole thing is on DVD.

MacGyver Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Planets


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